Paradox Fan Tutorial
Cast Starring: The Allied Guardian Tank as Himself. The Soviet Hammer Tank as The Apocalypse Tank. The Imperial Tsunami Tank as Himself The Confederate Mastiff Medium Tank as Herself The Talon Cleric Track as Himself The Royal Nian Tank as Himself The Protectorate Command Node as the Executor TripleTank The Syndicate Talos AFV as Himself The African Chike Battle Tank as Himself The Andean Vizcacha Tank as Himself The Combine Malice Tankette '''as '''Herself The Fortress Echo tank as Himself The Contingent Bushmaster Tank as Himself The Defender ______ as Himself The Industry T-59 as Himself The Pahit Typhoon MBT as Herself The Atlantean Fenrir Battle Tank as Himself The ZBI ______ as Himself The Unseen Topolino Tank as Himself The People ______ as Himself The Chrono Forward Grizzly Tank as Himself Lesson One: New Faces (Fades in from black. The 8 Paradox tanks are seen driving away from a war zone. They are severely damaged.) Guardian: Is it over yet? I'm tired of getting shot at! Tsunami: An honourable warrior does not care about getting shot at! Talos: You can only say that because you can just block the shots! Apocalypse: And I can't? (Everybody shoots the Apocalypse) Apocalypse: Ow! Mastiff: Block that, you commie! (Apocalypse shoots Mastiff. Mastiff shoots back) Cleric: Calm down now, you don't want to kill each other just before retiring. Executor: AIs do not retire! Guardian: Lucky you then. Tsunami: (Looking off-map) Hey, what's that? (The fan MBTs appear. Some are just driving, and some appear in their own unique way - the Waverider rides its tidal wave up from the water onto land and the Grizzly Chronospheres in. The Typhoon is missing.) Chike: Hey hey, don't talk about retiring when we haven't even made our entrance yet! Waverider and Grizzly: Yeah! (Everyone else looks at the two of them) Waverider and Grizzly: What? Tsunami: Shouldn't I be the one riding that wave in? Guardian: Shouldn't I be the one Chronosphering in? Waverider: 'Your creators didn't think about it. ''(The Malice, by far the smallest, Vortex's in. She looks at the others.) 'Malice: '''Ha! The benefit of hindsight is 20/20! What you failed to cover, we take for ourselves! ''(The Fenrir drives in from the water. He glares at the Waverider, who quickly retreats offshore) '''Fenrir: (Hollering at the Waverider) I'm supposed to be doing the tutorial, not you! (The Typhoon MBT emerges from the water) Typhoon MBT: Am I late? Fenrir: Pretty much, so welcome to the party. Ahem, where was I? Ah yes, welcome back commander, to the Red Alert 3 Paradox Expanded Universe tutorial or whatever the name is. As you see, our family has grown again, with those 8 oldtimers over there plus us. (The Guardian shoots the Fenrir) Guardian: Who do you call old here? Fenrir: Ok ok, no you guys are not old. Can I now PLEASE continue? Apocalypse: grumble grumble Do as you like. grumble grumble Fenrir: So, now that this is over, commander! I hope you still remember the basics of the game. When we said "only one more game" we were of course not telling the entire truth - we meant "one more game and then another one". Guardian: That's about the same as a lie. Fenrir: Yeah, sorry. Anyway, I will give a short introduction to the new factions and their tanks now. The African Emirates, represented by the Chike. Chike: Hello. The African Emirates are a diamond miner faction from, well, Africa. We have long range weapons and quite some hightech stuff on hand. On the other hand, we lack in near combat... yeah. Fenrir: Ok, next are the Andean Community. Vizcacha: Good afternoon. The Andean Community are a centralistic faction, where everything comes from Andean Construction Yard, while other structures supply important parts and equipment. Our infantry are very mobile, but quite slow, and so are the other units. Fenrir: Now we come the Technocratic Combine. Malice: A pleasure to work with you! The Technocratic Combine are extremely scientific: we're even warring against the Allies 'cause they aren't as scientific focused as us! We use a LOT of artillery and Area of Effect weaponry, but alas our other units are rather weak in comparison and our production tree costly and inflexible. Fenrir: Ok, who is next? Echo Tank: (clears throat importantly) The Fortress. No one really knows who or what the Fortress are (except we). You can say, we are the epitome of extreme difference, on the one hand superior stats for the structures and defenses, on the other hand a painfully slow tier system and a ridicilous reliance on our homebase and money, and an extreme lack of quantity. oh yeah, our buildings are armed too. Fenrir: Ah yes. Well, what is there much to say? Next up are the Southern Contingent, right? Bushmaster: Correct. Another defensive faction, the Southern Contingent uses units to stop the advancement of the enemy, and while hampered with short range, we use very good airforce, infantry and navy to intrude and encapsule the enemy. Fenrir: And so we come to the Defender's League. ---Defenders League Tank---: Bring it on! Fenrir: Almost no navy, sub-par aircraft and weak starters. Don't we know someone else like that? ---Defenders League Tank---: Yeah, and? On the other hand, our infantry are supreme, the high tier units are powerful and the superweapon kicks hard. We guys are for the people who like long battles and continously want to improve. Fenrir: And there comes the next faction - The Industry. T-59: Yes, go ahead. Fenrir: As I see that, this faction has one design flavour - spamming. T-59: Ts, you don't know us. Our navy is good, our production capabilities too, but everything else is sub-par, except when grouped. This could become difficult for the common commander, but a skilled one can win with us. Fenrir: Thus, we come to the Pahit Kingdom. Typhoon: Alright. We are a faction based heavily on choice. We feature upgrades, both good expansion and bunker-down possibilities and strong high-tier units with the commander deciding what units will serve via choosing two out of four strategies. Plus we are good on water and land alike. On the other hand, our artillery and overall range is low, our airforce is bad, the highest units are quite costly and the strategies are mutually exclusive to each other. In short, a commander should choose wise when deciding the strategy. Fenrir: Sounds complex. Alright, next the Atlantean Monarchy. Hey, that's us! We feature a broad band of amphibious units, many soft-counters and multirole units, and in the late game we pack the really heavy guns out. All right, who is--- Mastiff: Howdy, wait a second - what are your weaknesses? Fenrir: Meh, ok ok. We need a lot of abilities because our units have weak armour, and our late units have limits on how many we can field, plus they are expensive and slow. Mastiff: Why does everyone go for slow, expensive and big nowadays? Fenrir: No idea. Anyway, Zone Break Industries are next. ZBI Tank: Yeah? Ok!... What, me? Oh sorry, I had a business guy on the phone. (Everyone shoots the ZBI Tank) ZBI Tank: Ok ok, sorry. Well then, Zone Break Industries has no official tactics, it's top secret. Fenrir: *sigh* Ok fine, whatever. The Unseen are next. Topolino: Oh yeah. The Unseen are a faction very similar to the Confederates, with the main difference being that almost everything can be garrisoned. We use some stealth, but have weak armour. Voice 1: '''Hey can we come out now? '''Voice 2: '''Please, these fireports are cramped! '''Topolino: '''Right, sorry about that (1 Weapons expert and1 Rockets expert leave the tank, and walk off screen) (Everyone looks at Topolino) '''Topolino: What? Fenrir: Err, right...That sounds an aweful lot like Confederates. Well I don't complain. The People now. People Tank: Hello. The People set everything on defense and speed. We can even use units which are not even finished yet, and our engineers can build power plant-esque structures, so called Pylons which serve as outposts. Everything is however bad in offense and expensive, and if units not finished yet are destroyed they are gone, as is the money used on them. Of particular note is our offensive superweapon, which destroys everything, yes EVERYTHING it hits. Interestingly, infantry units do not suffer at all, they are actually promoted. Fenrir: Sorry for interupting, but who wrote that? People Tank: No idea. We have the handwave that those infantry are gone for a year for them and come back well trained later. Fenrir: I will NOT ask any other questions... Next faction please! Grizzly: The last are the best, everyone knows that. (Guardian shoots the Grizzly) Guardian: You are just a Red Alert 2 rip-off. Grizzly: Let's not break the 4th wall again, see the many holes? Anyway, Sector Chrono are the best of the best the Allied Nations have. A lot of chrono technology, me, well trained infantry and more. We only struggle with higher tier, but this can be circumvented too. Guardian: And? You think that makes you better than the common Allies? Grizzly: Yeah, so what? We ARE better! (Guardian and Grizzly begin fighting) Fenrir: Hey, calm down or I'll... Guardian and Grizzly: Shut up! Fenrir: Ok, fine! (Guardian and Grizzly have been banned from the tutorial via chronoport) Fenrir: Thank you. Well commander you see, there seem to be problems already. Anyway, we'll see you in the next tutorial then. Fare well! (Everyone lines up and fires confetti) *WIP, feel free to edit* Category:Article stubs